249 (358x237)

Christine’s experience …

My two conversations with Benjamin have been uplifting.  My slightly suspicious mind wondered if it would feel contrived or uncomfortable but both times it was very real and comforting.  In the first conversation, Benjamin had me do a visualization of myself as a child which I have done ad nauseum in therapy and coaching school, but for the first time, I saw myself happy as a child.  In both conversations the theme was love, love as the answer to everything.  I’ve made an altar to love and turns out, I possess about a dozen hearts in various forms and they are part of this altar.  After the second conversation, since I have not been loving my office, I took sidewalk chalk and drew a gigantic heart on one wall.  In the heart I drew the thing I saw when talking with Benjamin:  A little window in my heart with a spark.  The beginning.

All of this to say that Benjamin has been part of my support team since I made my big ballsy move 2,600 miles away from my known territory and then started down this scary path of breast misbehavior, and his messages about love have found tangible form in my house so I can practice remembering.  One upstairs, one down.  This remembering about love and hope has been one of the reasons I’ve not shot off into outer space with fear while undergoing multiple breast-piercing procedures and waiting to find out if this is the thing that will kill me.  Before I’ve really begun to live.  He asked me if I really believed that I deserved to carry the message, to speak my words, to make an impact.  I wasn’t solid on that.  Now I am.  I am ready.

So, thank you.  Thank you to Kirsty for being the conduit and even more, for having the courage to let it out!  And to Jeanne for throwing herself into the effort to bring Benjamin to people.  And to Benjamin, for the wisdom, love, sense of humor, and practical suggestions.  I am most grateful.

With love and appreciation,
Christine