A conversation with Jeanne from August 2012

B: Good afternoon or good morning.

J: Hello Benjamin.

B: How are you dear one?

J: In the moment you notice I’m a bit shaky when you said hello.

B: It is our delight to be with you again.

J: Thank you! It’s a privilege to be with you.

B: How may we be of service to you at this time?

J: I think you know that I don’t totally know. I came here from a place of thinking I needed transparency and openness with what was going on and Kirsty’s invitation to be with you was such a gift that I’m wanting to take advantage of. What comes to me is “seeking focus”. Your guidance last fall was wonderful and I want to be sure I’m on the right track.

B: Seeking focus is a very good track… (laughter). Tell us more.

J: Well, I again find that I can be drawn to so many things from the meditation and the spiritual and the curious about you and others to the earthly day-to-day what’s mine to do in the world. Sometimes it feels real good. Sometimes it’s overwhelming. Maybe it’s just an unwillingness to settle in, in what works.

B: In what works… this is an interesting starting place. We certainly can affirm to you that part of the human experience, your human experience, is as a connector, a being who reaches deep into her spirituality, deep into and up into if you wish this connection to higher energetic forces and vibrational levels and who also has very strong developed capacity in the world as a communicator, as someone who does in the world, in the material plane. No contradiction. This is a very central aspect of your purpose, this ability you have to extend, to reach from these high dimensions to a very strong embodied experience and communication.

J: There’s something very reassuring about that. I need to say that when you started speaking my hands got very heavy, like there was a weight in each one, pushing them into the ground.

B: What is that telling you?

J: I’m not sure. I think it came with connection so the vision of holding hands was present. It didn’t feel like the weight of the world on my shoulders heaviness. Interesting. I guess it’s also telling me that I feel your energy in a way that I haven’t always been open to.

B: Mmm. You are indeed profoundly sensitive and your capacity to receive these energies and this vibration is a very important and significant aspect as we said. This is a place for you to find joy, to find your heart opening and to expand into this heart-felt appreciation of the joyous connection, the expansiveness, and the light forces that are available to you.

J: So I wonder why I sob as you speak and how I remain more connected because sometimes I don’t feel that connection.

B: Mmm. It is fine not to always feel the connection. This connection is not always appropriate to be open to when you are deeply engaged in material, worldly things. It is one that is nurturing, fulfilling, and will allow you to, as we have already said, open to great joy. But, don’t feel you have to be with this all the time. It’s something to celebrate when you are, something to intend to be with as and when you can, and to quietly and gently extend your opening arms, if you wish to use that analogy. But, truly dear one, your capacity is very developed. Your practice, your long practice of being a musician, of being a meditator, of being a yoga practitioner, and all the other practices you have used to keep yourself grounded in the world and developing as a spiritual being are all there to serve you. And now you have more time to devote to this.

J: I feel affirmed, more at ease. It’s like it’s okay to, to joyously go out in the world and play!

B: More than okay.

J: Necessary?

B: A very important part of your purpose at this time. As you play, you are bringing through vibrations that are healing, that are reaching out to others, and that allow you in your total authenticity to hold that resonance, that vibration and to expand that for others – allowing that for those who are sharing your music.

J: I feel like I’m torn sometimes between trusting that, that just showing up and being transparently, authentically me, is enough. Now I’m witnessing Kirsty give of herself so that you can be with me and it feels like I need to be that willing to be that open to be used without even necessarily knowing how, when or why.

B: Trust and serve. Know you will be supported and loved deeply. Do you feel this?

J: In this moment? In this moment, yes. Trust and serve. Yes.

B: Allow. This is a very powerful, deep, beautiful part of your being, this serving, this bringing through and allowing.

J: Thank you. And I find so much joy in it!

B: Of course! It is an expression of joy. You being fully authentically you serving with what gives you great joy, allowing the radiance to shine through… what is there not to be joyous?

J: As you said that I am reminded of the radiance to shine through and wanting to remember it so, so much more than “me”. That’s when it’s joyful.

B: And you know how it is to surrender and to be present with this gift you have?

J: Yes. Yes I do know. I don’t always remember but I know.

B: So where should your focus be, we wonder?

J: Some of the things you’ve said that remind me are — I have done a lot of preparation. I must remember to prepare with the focus on allowing, allowing myself to be used, recharging when necessary. I guess that allowing just reminds me again that the places I am to serve will show up.

B: Indeed. And the more you allow, the more you will notice. You will see the signs. You will hear the words of support and you will find the support is there to help you. And you will ask. You will reach out and it will be there!

J: Wow. I hear you.

B: Indeed you do dear Jeanne. You are wonderfully receptive and sensitive. So know this and celebrate. And keep on being patient with yourself. Understand that it’s a matter of developing capacity at your own pace, with a smile on your face always forgiving when you fall off, climbing back on to your vehicle, and being very quietly happy, conscious of this wonderful endeavor you have.

J: Patience. Begin again.

B: Indeed. Fresh beginner mind but bringing the wisdom, bringing the deep, beautiful self you are that has been grown over many lifetimes.

J: Hmm….

B: Acknowledge yourself as not a new soul but one that has been part of a long process. Know you are a part of a much more expanded, greater self, more knowing, that you can access.

J: Wow. I’m feeling drawn to the center of the earth.

B: You are an old soul, Jeanne, and you have chosen wisely and well your challenges for this life. Your tropical plant is a good metaphor for the spiritual growth that has taken place as you have met the challenges which have been significant because you wish to embark on a significant life, significant growth, significant endeavor.

J: Wow. There is something reassuring but my human mind says, how do I remember this idea of feeling the presence of so much history supporting me, in me, as me?

B: Great richness and resource! Can you feel your soul being one which has much lifetimes, many lifetimes of knowingness in this plane and others?

J: Any wisdom for accessing that or just trust that it’s there when I need it?

B: Trust that it’s there when you need it. The more you enter into the trust, the service, the sense of an expanded calling, if you wish, the more you will also tap in to your wisdom, the deep wisdom that is your greater being.

J: The road to wisdom is trust.

B: Your road to connecting to your wisdom which is already there is to expand through trust, through serving, through practicing this and through just the sheer delight of being that comes as you allow yourself to truly embrace this in your life.

J: Whew. Okay. Such a gift I feel I’ve been given both in where my life is, what I am able to explore, and my God, the support, people like Kirsty and beings like you. I’m so blessed.

B: You are indeed blessed. So going back, dear Jeanne, to your original question of focus: do you feel more clarity?

J: Yes. I feel a deepened call toward that ongoing trust in what I have seen works and your use of the word patience was wise. So patient surrender, trust, action, service, joyfully.

B: Excellent.

J: Thank you.

B: Know that our love and blessings are very much with you and we look forward to being with you again.

J: Oh my thank you. I receive the open invitation for a gift.