GRIEVING, RAGE AND DEATH
When belief wavers or disappears ...
W: Well I do have a question. Last week you mentioned holding us watertight and developing the ability to align to a source of a positive… of energy, a powerful spiritual source to strengthen light and radiance. For me personally I find it difficult to get in touch with this powerful spiritual source. As a child I had this strong Christian teacher, and then in my thirties I did mindful meditation, and then ten years ago my nephew of twenty-two was murdered.
All my beliefs in God and Spirit seemed to disappear. I developed a great deal of anxiety and fear about life, about my own life, about safety and the safety of my family. I came across mindfulness meditation and I have been practicing for a few years now. I’ve found that I’ve developed an awareness. I’m understanding myself better, I’m learning to know myself. And I believe, I think I believe that the answer to my fears is within. But in that case, I still don’t understand the suffering, the murders, and the terrible things that go on in the world. My question, Benjamin is, what is your purpose? If there is a higher intelligence then how can we get in touch with it more and in a way, why isn’t it doing more?
B: Indeed. This is a very profound question. You reach into the nature of suffering, the nature of life and death and the nature of transitioning. And indeed into what is the purpose of the human life, what are relationships. You know this, don’t you? Your question goes into the very heart of all that is for the human being. But our first question to you is, in your relationship to death and dying, dear Wendy, what is there in your sensing of this?
W: Well on one level I feel that for the person who dies, they are acquiring peace. For the people who are left it can be hell because of the pain and hurt they feel after they’ve lost somebody.
B: Indeed. So the nature of the hell, the nature of the relationship of those who are alive with those who have passed into a different form of being, this is critical. Because deep within this is the nature of what you believe and how your attachments function. So you believe that the person who has died is at peace, you say.
W: I think so.
B: Do you believe that there is an ongoing existence, that there is, if you like, a greater being, that the individual being is part of?
W: I’m not sure. I feel that our energy, because we no longer have our body, our energy continues in some form but I do find it very difficult to understand. One minute I believe I understand it and then I find that I don’t.
B: So what we would say to you is that your sense is true. The energy, this spark, this beingness that takes form in the individual incarnation does of course not die as such. It changes. Know that those who live on are in a different relationship. And the experience of pain is one which needs to be examined and understood. Because part of pain is what happens in the imagination and in the understanding. Part of it is truly at the physical level, the level of connection and the emotional body and the impact of the separation. But part of it is also at the level of understanding.
So the need, as you see in mindfulness practice, how expanding your mind around the present, around the particular, allowing it to become expanded in its interaction with the present moment, in a sense, reduces the impact of pain, expands the sense of all that is present in the present. And this is a key, dear one. This key sense of understanding and insight. So your question and initial belief, this had some level of truth but it also had a very big overcoat with some quite heavy stones in it.
B: Stones of all the conditioning, all the superficial, social constraints that came with. So shedding those and coming to this deep freshness, not losing the sense of the crystals, the extraordinary beauty that the Christ presence is, can be, this Christ presence is one of the ways of aligning deeply and experiencing the power of living presence, living spirit, living God, living sacred knowledge and presence in the material plane. There are, as you understand, other ways, other routes to this and finding support.
So the individual can carve their own way and absolutely find the resonance to this aligned Godhead and presence. But you can also find it, if you like, you can find stepping stones across the fiord. Or you can find help or you can seek the access through some of these beings who come incarnate and provide very strong routes and vibrational feelers which make it easier. Ease is the word.
I believe Shari had a theme of ease for this meeting. So think of this in terms of finding your access point. What will ease be? What will support you dear one? And what will expand your mind, expand your being, so you can be much vaster than the particulars of your nephew’s transition, deeply painful and shocking though it was. We would be happy to spend time going more deeply into this sometime but we know there is a circle here. And we are also interested to know if our response is creating more response, deeper questions from you or others in the group.
W: Thank you very much, Benjamin. I think I need to take all of that in, that I feel heard. That really helps, actually. Yes, I need to absorb it all but thank you. You have given me a different perspective as well on Christianity or Christ.
B: Always remember the view from lower down the mountain is not very good. [laughter] Climb a little, dear one, as you are so able to do.
Wendy is looking from the point of great pain, immediate impact of a very tragic event in her personal life. This is not the perspective to read the whole picture and not the great image that she needs to see into the nature of reality. So it is to register and understand and to feel truly the impact of this terrible event as it happened but also to understand there was deep purpose to this. Your nephew, Wendy, did not die accidentally though it may appear so. To understand these kinds of very painful, very hurtful, violent, “the worst side of what can be seen in a human life” to understand that you have to go to a higher level of beings and presence. That is for the insight, not for the emotional integration and understanding. So that is what we meant.